Podcast – Ep 002: How to Break the Fear of Rejection
We all want to be able to express our ideas openly and freely without criticism. However, that’s not exactly how it works out.
Often times we find ourselves getting negative, critical, and even harsh feedback from others as we openly share our ideas and thoughts on our social pages.
Does that mean we silence our voice and allow the opinions of others to keep us quiet?
Do we try and eliminate the fear by bullying the voice behind it?
Do we try and articulate our perspective until others agree?
No! If we did that we would never get anything done!
Instead we have to acknowledge that fear can’t exist if we are focused on serving others.
You might say, “Adam! What do you mean?”
Here is what I mean. When you focus on giving to others you can’t feel the feeling of fear.
For example, if I were to tell you to give a homeless man a sandwich would you be afraid to get rejected? No right?
You are not afraid because you are giving to him.
Now if I told you to ask a stranger for money, would you feel afraid?
Yes! The reason is because you are focused on receiving. “What will he say? What will he thing of me? What if he says no?”
In the same way, we often share our message on social media looking for affirmation that our message matters.
What we fail to realize is that we must share our experiences from a place of giving to others. Whether they find value in it is up to them.
What you and I ought to be concerned about is giving our message in a way that articulates some type of value that will make our listeners gain insight on things that have helped us.
If we are focused on doing that, and we stay focused on giving our ideas, we will find that people will in fact receive value.
What you share may mean all of the world to one person and not resonate with another person.
So do you not share it because one person doesn’t like your post?
No! If it made a difference for one than you have done your job.
I think it’s so easy to get caught up craving the spotlight and feedback that when the feedback isn’t positive, it crushes our beliefs about what we have to offer.
The truth is that what you have to offer is highly valuable and no one should be given a place to offend you because you are not looking to please everyone but instead looking to give to those that are hungry for the value that you are sharing.
I promise you that over time you will have way more fans than critics. You will have a loyal tribe of fans that love your content and occasionally someone who may not agree with your perspective and that’s okay.
What we can’t do is allow these few people who have an opinion to stop us from our mission. Especially because you have a story that’s been developing since you were a little boy or girl. You have a vision to go out and do something big. We can’t allow a few naysayers to get in the way of all of the people that you were destined to help.
A quick side story, at my events, I ask a question to the audience.
I say, “Who here has hurt you before raise your hand?”
Everyone in the room then raises there hand.
“If 5 or more people have hurt you in a way that it has dramatically impacted your life keep your hand up”
Three-quarters of the room keep their hands up.
“Keep your hands up if more than 10 people have hurt you?”
Now half of the room puts their hands down.
“Keep your hands up if 20 or more people have hurt you”
Now just a few hands are left.
Then I say, “Think about how many people you have met in your life. Out of the thousands of people we often let these few people hold us back. Is that crazy or what!?”
The crowd will often have a short “aha” moment as their wheels spin on how they have let others affect their confidence of their own future.
At the end of the day, people will still disappoint us because we are human. However, the important aspect I want us to remember is that we must change our focus to serving others and when we do, we find ourselves overcoming the fears of rejection and criticism.